After my second interview, I was feeling pretty excited and extremely relieved. The job offer was on its way to me via e-mail. I was talking to some close friends and close co-workers about the new direction my life was taking once again. It’s hard to think clearly when you realize you’re going to be able to bank all your severance, not skip a beat when it comes to a paycheck, and probably have the iPhone by Christmas!
So there was my office, with a window, a flat panel monitor, a phone with my name programmed into it (so they can monitor my phone calls...I know), and business cards on the way. Everyone is friendly, they all appear to be smiling and generally pretty happy to be there.
The money was right where I needed it to be. There would be a 90-day review of performance and salary (not bad, right?) and a yearly review of both after that. I only had two questions left. The answers sucked both the excitement and relief of finding this job right out of me. It also set me up with an entire batch of new problems. In my mind, I’m trying to work them all out before they even happen. Everything seemingly appears to be manageable, and then I wake up. I’m solving all my issues in my dreams but need to figure out how to make that a reality. Honestly, they don’t give you much to work with.
Two very important things for me are vacation and sick time, and I inquired about both. The answers were the worst I’d received since I’d started interviewing. While I’d rather be working than be sick, a migraine can pretty much take me down for the count and I happen to be prone to them. Truthfully, if you want me to be on top of my game when I’m at work, you’re going to have to give me time off to play and time off to recuperate when ill. Both numbers were surprisingly low. (So I’m going to have to add them together in order to see any light at the end of the tunnel).
The best I can come up with after that is, I’ll be taking a few days without pay (not just to “bridge” the gap but to “bridge the gaping wound)! I’m perfectly OK with that. I just wonder if they’ll be perfectly OK with that? I didn’t ask. I got my foot in the door and now we’ll just take it one step at a time.
I’m also approaching this with a bit of an attitude. I know that sounds awful. I’m not an ingrate. I’m just a little “spoiled” at my current job. And yes, I’m also losing my current job. It’s like culture shock to leave one environment for another and, while I am definitely ready for a change, I’m certainly not ready for such a drastic one.
So, back to my attitude…
This 90-day review is a two-way street. So, if the pay increase isn’t as substantial as I’d like, and if the “time off” isn’t as flexible as I need, I can always look for something else. After all, I have no loyalty to this company at this time. (By the way, loyalty is really underrated these days, isn’t it?)
I’ll have completed school (I hope) and banked some money to live on (plus there’s the severance payment from my current job – AKA the “bridge” to get me from Point A to Point B. Or, in this case, Point B to Point C). While I’m hoping this is not the scenario that plays out, I just need to have a “Plan B” or “way out” if I need one.
Next, I have absolutely no desire to “personalize” my office. I just don’t want to get too comfortable. I want to go one day at a time and see how I feel after 90 days. I’ll work hard, prove my mettle, and I’ll come in with a great attitude on the outside. My insides will twist as my comfort and trust levels are more eschewed than usual these days. I am afraid to put any roots down.
Losing my current job has certainly done a number on me. I’d ask if this was normal but I have absolutely no idea what “normal” is. (Anyway, normal seems boring most of the time!) I faxed over my acceptance of the offer on Friday the 13th! It just seemed the right thing to do (as if tempting fate is ever on my side!) I signed the agreement on the 12th though as I’m not nearly as brave as I thought I was when it comes to fates and superstitions. (Just another thing I learned about myself along the journey…)
A friend pointed out long ago (when yet another crisis/tragedy/shoe feel) that I tend to “compartmentalize” my life. I definitely separate “work” and “home.” Somehow, it gives me balance. I’m not an “open book” but I’m not entirely a “closed book” either. I’m just cautious.
Finally, regarding the new job, they mentioned the Christmas party the company throws every year. As fate would have it, it’s held in the same building where I was advised that I’d be losing my job in 6 months. In my mind, I’m already out of town visiting someone, somewhere at that time. I’m sure, not even knowing the date of the party yet, that I have a previous commitment or prior engagement to attend. (How much do you want to bet the party is held not only in the same building but also in the same room? You KNOW it will be!)
Let me be perfectly honest here. With the miniscule vacation and sick leave they’re offering, there’s no way they’re getting one of my “free” nights.
NO WAY!
So let me properly end this missive and my cynicism with a quote from Sir Bobby Robson, English football manager and former international football player:
“You only get out of life what you put into it. If you don't work hard and
haven't got enthusiasm, nothing comes your way.”
So there was my office, with a window, a flat panel monitor, a phone with my name programmed into it (so they can monitor my phone calls...I know), and business cards on the way. Everyone is friendly, they all appear to be smiling and generally pretty happy to be there.
The money was right where I needed it to be. There would be a 90-day review of performance and salary (not bad, right?) and a yearly review of both after that. I only had two questions left. The answers sucked both the excitement and relief of finding this job right out of me. It also set me up with an entire batch of new problems. In my mind, I’m trying to work them all out before they even happen. Everything seemingly appears to be manageable, and then I wake up. I’m solving all my issues in my dreams but need to figure out how to make that a reality. Honestly, they don’t give you much to work with.
Two very important things for me are vacation and sick time, and I inquired about both. The answers were the worst I’d received since I’d started interviewing. While I’d rather be working than be sick, a migraine can pretty much take me down for the count and I happen to be prone to them. Truthfully, if you want me to be on top of my game when I’m at work, you’re going to have to give me time off to play and time off to recuperate when ill. Both numbers were surprisingly low. (So I’m going to have to add them together in order to see any light at the end of the tunnel).
The best I can come up with after that is, I’ll be taking a few days without pay (not just to “bridge” the gap but to “bridge the gaping wound)! I’m perfectly OK with that. I just wonder if they’ll be perfectly OK with that? I didn’t ask. I got my foot in the door and now we’ll just take it one step at a time.
I’m also approaching this with a bit of an attitude. I know that sounds awful. I’m not an ingrate. I’m just a little “spoiled” at my current job. And yes, I’m also losing my current job. It’s like culture shock to leave one environment for another and, while I am definitely ready for a change, I’m certainly not ready for such a drastic one.
So, back to my attitude…
This 90-day review is a two-way street. So, if the pay increase isn’t as substantial as I’d like, and if the “time off” isn’t as flexible as I need, I can always look for something else. After all, I have no loyalty to this company at this time. (By the way, loyalty is really underrated these days, isn’t it?)
I’ll have completed school (I hope) and banked some money to live on (plus there’s the severance payment from my current job – AKA the “bridge” to get me from Point A to Point B. Or, in this case, Point B to Point C). While I’m hoping this is not the scenario that plays out, I just need to have a “Plan B” or “way out” if I need one.
Next, I have absolutely no desire to “personalize” my office. I just don’t want to get too comfortable. I want to go one day at a time and see how I feel after 90 days. I’ll work hard, prove my mettle, and I’ll come in with a great attitude on the outside. My insides will twist as my comfort and trust levels are more eschewed than usual these days. I am afraid to put any roots down.
Losing my current job has certainly done a number on me. I’d ask if this was normal but I have absolutely no idea what “normal” is. (Anyway, normal seems boring most of the time!) I faxed over my acceptance of the offer on Friday the 13th! It just seemed the right thing to do (as if tempting fate is ever on my side!) I signed the agreement on the 12th though as I’m not nearly as brave as I thought I was when it comes to fates and superstitions. (Just another thing I learned about myself along the journey…)
A friend pointed out long ago (when yet another crisis/tragedy/shoe feel) that I tend to “compartmentalize” my life. I definitely separate “work” and “home.” Somehow, it gives me balance. I’m not an “open book” but I’m not entirely a “closed book” either. I’m just cautious.
Finally, regarding the new job, they mentioned the Christmas party the company throws every year. As fate would have it, it’s held in the same building where I was advised that I’d be losing my job in 6 months. In my mind, I’m already out of town visiting someone, somewhere at that time. I’m sure, not even knowing the date of the party yet, that I have a previous commitment or prior engagement to attend. (How much do you want to bet the party is held not only in the same building but also in the same room? You KNOW it will be!)
Let me be perfectly honest here. With the miniscule vacation and sick leave they’re offering, there’s no way they’re getting one of my “free” nights.
NO WAY!
So let me properly end this missive and my cynicism with a quote from Sir Bobby Robson, English football manager and former international football player:
“You only get out of life what you put into it. If you don't work hard and
haven't got enthusiasm, nothing comes your way.”
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