Movin' On Up?

I received a promotion this month, and consequently work out of a different building. This building is just a few years old, and comes equipped with all of the modern conveniences and amenities. For example, now I no longer have to flush the toilet myself. There is an "invisible eye" that can detect when I begin my "business," and the completion of my "business." Supposedly.

Earlier this month, I was on the 2nd floor to sit with somebody to get oriented to the areas with which I will work. After my training session, I felt the need to "drop the kids off at the pool." What follows is a strictly factual account of my harrowing experience...

As soon as I entered the stall, the toilet flushed. I disrobed and positioned myself on "the throne," and flush. One of my (many) weird habits is that the first thing I do upon resting on my throne is to reach down and pull up my socks. Flush. During the course of executing my mission, I ever-so-slightly changed positions for comfort, and - you guessed it - flush! I leaned up a bit on one cheek for greater access to the wiping region; flush. I reached for some more toilet paper, flush! I finally completed my task, stood up, fastened my pants, and NO FLUSH! "It figures," I thought to myself. I exited my office, er, the stall, and went to wash my hands. NO FLUSH! Now feeling a bit irritated, yet inquisitive, I opened and shut the door to the stall again, but still NO FLUSH! Finally, I reached my hand into the stall, and waved it in front of the darn "sensor," and NO FLUSH!! To get the last remnants of my wiping paraphernalia appropriately discharged from the bowl, I had to actually push the darn "manual flush" button above the sensor! Of course, upon exiting the stall for the second time, the "automatic flush" functioned once again!

Evidently, there needs to be some type of training course or orientation for some of these perks that come with a management position…