Cheese DNA

My son, who recently turned eight years old, has been gaming in one fashion or another ever since he's been able to sit upright. Of course, he's rarely had the opportunity for success when competing against me directly. Yes, I know, I'm the man. Just last week, he threw down the gauntlet and challenged me to a game of NFL Fever on the Xbox. I know Fever has it's problems, but it does have a certain "pick-up-and-play-ability" (after a phrase like that, I'm sure you're wondering why no one has hired me to write professionally) that's suitable for children and like-minded adults. Prior to this game, I'd guestimate that I'm about 300-0 versus my son in video game football. Although he plays that game regularly, and I haven't touched it months, I felt pretty confident going into the competition.

If you know anything about Fever (we're playing the original incarnation), it's notorious for pass-rushing predicated by some random factor other than player ability or user control, and defensive backs that can't cover a book with a sheet. Also, keep in mind that my eight-year-old has never played organized football, and he just occasionally watches bits and pieces of games on TV. Hank Stram he is not. Anyway, I figure this will be fun, since he's now at the age where he can legitimately play these more "complex" games.

So, my son proceeds to lay the smack down on his old man, 50-26. He was playing the Vikings, and I was the Packers. His main offensive strategy was to drop back 30 yards, wait for Moss to break free of any stiff that I might have in coverage, and launch the bomb. He also went for it on fourth down regularly, never punted, and exploited a money play on the extra points to go for two each time. His defensive strategy was to play a linebacker or defensive back, and blitz relentlessly. Without any formal training, my son has become a "cheeser" in his approach to video game football. Here I've been avoiding playing unknown quantities on Xbox Live for fear of running into a "cheeser," yet my own flesh and blood has become the enemy.

Indirectly, I've scientifically proven that either "cheesing" is part of our DNA, or that every random opponent on Xbox Live is an 8-year-old kid learning the game of football by cutting his teeth on NFL Fever. And, I've proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I suck at video games.