Do Not Bend

When I walked into my second interview (of my new and current job), I smugly handed over my Microsoft Office Specialist certificate (in Access). I was pretty proud of that certificate. I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but as excited as I was to receive the certificate, I was equally as disappointed when I realized it wasn’t signed by Bill Gates (though it was signed by two other individuals). I know you are all laughing out there. Trust me, you don’t want to look so smug!

My friends laughed at me. “You think Bill Gates is going to sign certificates?” Even my new boss scoffed at the notion, “Bill Gates? Yeah, right.” And this is why I hate to have high expectations or get too excited about anything because it ends up being a let down. I’m sure you know the old adage that goes something like, don’t get to close - it spoils the illusion. It’s true. It’s happened to many of us, but we try not to lose hope. I just really wanted to see Mr. Gates’ signature. He’s one of the top five people I would like to meet. (Actually, he’s number two).

Well, I just received notice I could get a digital copy of my MCP (Microsoft Certified Professional) certificate. I printed it off the site and promptly (still a little smugly) handed it over to my new boss. It felt good. I then signed up for my Microsoft “Welcome” kit, and was told it would be about six weeks.

Imagine my surprise when it came three weeks early! It was packed protectively and marked “DO NOT BEND” in bold red letters. Inside was my official Microsoft Certified Professional card (same size as a credit card) and yes, laugh if you must, a Microsoft Certified Professional pin. Well, it may not have looked right on my denim jacket covered with guitar pins and concert buttons that I wore with pride many years ago, but I will find a proper place for it.

The official certificate itself is what made my mouth drop. The kit comes in a cardboard booklet. The certificate is on the left side while the pin and card reside on the right. There was just something about that certificate that hit my core. Something that made the geek in me beam just a little brighter. Something that put that smug, sly, slow-shaping smile form across my face until my cheeks hurt. Something that made the words “DO NOT BEND” more critically necessary.

The certificate read:

“Microsoft Certificate of Excellence” and my name, followed by, “Has successfully completed the requirements to be recognized as a Microsoft Certified Professional.”

Cool! But it was the very last line that caused the burning and forced me to take a deep breath. The last line was handwritten. Two words…

Bill Gates