I am, by most accounts, a pretty tough chick. (That is to say, one that is strong on the outside even though my insides might be crumbling.) Those that know me well will not dispute this. Like most, I’ve been through my share (and then some) in life that gives the “rite of passage” to that title – and most of you have it too. Luckily I have sarcasm and wit to get me through and keep me grounded – along with some really great friends!
I won’t go into it here, of course, about how many times the shoe dropped, and then the floor, and then…how it all went pitch black. I won’t say that I’ve been through more or less than any of you, just that like many of you, I’ve been through the ringer more than once. I sometimes wonder how I still function when there are days I seem to be hanging on by my thumbs. But then, one of my favorite sayings goes something like this:
That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
It’s that whisper of a voice inside my head and I cling to it like a child to a blanket.
I am stronger.
No matter how strong or tough or resilient I may proclaim to be, nothing could have prepared me for the flood of raw emotions that washed over me the day I left my office of many, many, many years. It was a long, lone walk to my car. I left my friends, my knowledge, my comfort zone, my five weeks vacation, my freedom, my worklife as I know it. I snuck out like a thief in the night. The brave girl was no more than a coward that day. But you do what you have to in order to survive – in this case it was emotional survival.
I tried to view this as I would the season of Spring – a new beginning – a fresh start – exactly what my life needs.
So I’m just going to thank my friends and co-workers for some of the things I gleaned from them over the years.
To:
TB – Cynicism and wit, brains and sarcasm. Faith. Friendship
KM - Access conversations that no one else could understand, patience, guidance, patience, mentoring, patience, blogging,…(did I mention patience?)
JMC - Coffee, T-time, breaks, vending trees, laughter, truth, and nobility
And the rest of the crew for one or more of the following:
Bluefly
Concerts, JR and AD, Tear bottles, cats and coffee, August and Everything After
Bobbie Brown brick. Skirts, never shorts
Orazio
Math help; Grey Goose
The New Yorker, dressing to the 9’s
Compliments
Advice: Never put anything in writing. Flat lines. Trust. Integrity
Pushing me and believing in me
Every “good morning” and the bad ones too
Sharing of birthdays and secrets
Demonstrativeness
Honesty, funny stories, genuineness, Courage under fire
“Whatever!”
The coolest gift certificate to the coolest gallery; flavored coffee
My freedom
Chats about mothers
Contacts, more laughter, morning coffee, a new song each day
…And all of these things, in their own way, are now part of me. I take them with me and I am grateful for these little treasures for they are priceless.
And always trying to be uplifting, someone said, “It will be interesting to see where your life is one year from now.”
It’s been 6 months. I have a new job, my own office with a window, a new title or hat to be worn, new responsibilities and new friends.
I don’t know why I landed here but I did – and like a cat (KAT), I landed on my feet.
So far so good.
Oh, and someone I met has concert ticket connections. Timing is everything! ;)
I won’t go into it here, of course, about how many times the shoe dropped, and then the floor, and then…how it all went pitch black. I won’t say that I’ve been through more or less than any of you, just that like many of you, I’ve been through the ringer more than once. I sometimes wonder how I still function when there are days I seem to be hanging on by my thumbs. But then, one of my favorite sayings goes something like this:
That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
It’s that whisper of a voice inside my head and I cling to it like a child to a blanket.
I am stronger.
No matter how strong or tough or resilient I may proclaim to be, nothing could have prepared me for the flood of raw emotions that washed over me the day I left my office of many, many, many years. It was a long, lone walk to my car. I left my friends, my knowledge, my comfort zone, my five weeks vacation, my freedom, my worklife as I know it. I snuck out like a thief in the night. The brave girl was no more than a coward that day. But you do what you have to in order to survive – in this case it was emotional survival.
I tried to view this as I would the season of Spring – a new beginning – a fresh start – exactly what my life needs.
So I’m just going to thank my friends and co-workers for some of the things I gleaned from them over the years.
To:
TB – Cynicism and wit, brains and sarcasm. Faith. Friendship
KM - Access conversations that no one else could understand, patience, guidance, patience, mentoring, patience, blogging,…(did I mention patience?)
JMC - Coffee, T-time, breaks, vending trees, laughter, truth, and nobility
And the rest of the crew for one or more of the following:
Bluefly
Concerts, JR and AD, Tear bottles, cats and coffee, August and Everything After
Bobbie Brown brick. Skirts, never shorts
Orazio
Math help; Grey Goose
The New Yorker, dressing to the 9’s
Compliments
Advice: Never put anything in writing. Flat lines. Trust. Integrity
Pushing me and believing in me
Every “good morning” and the bad ones too
Sharing of birthdays and secrets
Demonstrativeness
Honesty, funny stories, genuineness, Courage under fire
“Whatever!”
The coolest gift certificate to the coolest gallery; flavored coffee
My freedom
Chats about mothers
Contacts, more laughter, morning coffee, a new song each day
…And all of these things, in their own way, are now part of me. I take them with me and I am grateful for these little treasures for they are priceless.
And always trying to be uplifting, someone said, “It will be interesting to see where your life is one year from now.”
It’s been 6 months. I have a new job, my own office with a window, a new title or hat to be worn, new responsibilities and new friends.
I don’t know why I landed here but I did – and like a cat (KAT), I landed on my feet.
So far so good.
Oh, and someone I met has concert ticket connections. Timing is everything! ;)
4 comments:
This is the vending tree speaking...you are right; you are one tough chick. You got us BOTH thru what we were going thru...I owe you. Remember; the hottest fires of hell forge the strongest steel. You are the strongest link. Never forget that my friend. Good blogging,
Hennessy
Thanks. We were the center - and the center must hold.
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dogoncrack.wordpress.com
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