Forbidden Fruit

It wasn’t something you wanted or sought.

You didn’t think about it one way or the other, if at all. And then all of a sudden, it was all you thought about.

Thought Consuming.

And then, it just happened.

Realizations.

You thought you saw it coming but there was always the chance that you could be wrong.
It’s not like you haven’t been wrong before.

And then you realized you weren’t. And there it was. Right in front of you.

Forbidden Fruit

It’s tempting (YES!) and it has many shapes and forms - those things that we want but know we cannot or should not have for various reasons. Some crystal clear reasons – some not so much, depending on to what extent you choose to creatively spin the situation to your advantage.

But you know it is off limits and then, out of nowhere, you realize it’s not. And it hits you like a ton of bricks because now the rules of the game have changed – there are none.

And THAT changes EVERYTHING.

Everything you know.

Everything you were taught.

Everything you believe.

Karma.

Ethics.

Morals.

Scruples.

Friendships and Loyalties.

You are bewildered and blind-sided. Confused yet curious. The wonderment of it all. And again you straddle the fine line between wrong and right. The decision is yours and it’s colossal, because if you go forward, you can’t go back. And if you stand still, you will never know…

Where has standing still ever gotten anyone?

Choices.

You only get one life. And things happen to us in life that mold us and change us. Forever.

Does that justify it?

Blame.

Someone.

Anyone.

Just not me. I’ve been through enough.

Bitter sweetness.

We toy with the notion to a very dangerous point. Like two magnets in a small room. The thing you try to avoid the most keeps pulling you closer. Unavoidable decisions to be made in this game called LIFE.

Is it worth it? Consider the fallout. There will be fallout.

RELENTLESS.

And the signs are there and they are screaming, “Danger! Danger Will Robinson!”

And I know better than to partake of forbidden fruit in any form. (Shoulda known better…)

And yet, it consumes my thoughts more often than I care to admit.

And this must stop.

But that’s not what I want.

Some days I am strong – a force to be reckoned with.

And some days…I don’t recognize this person that I am.

____________________________________________

(Click 1st line of lyrics to hear song)
I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

~Where I Stood/Missy Higgins