Blind Sided, Naive, or Hopeful

She did her job well from what I observed. They cut her hours. She still did her job well. Mondays became more challenging for her and she dealt with it - no complaints. I thought she should have seen it coming but hoped I was wrong. I fully admit, after all, that I am jaded.

I couldnt' help but wonder, was she blind sided, naïve or hopeful?

And at this point, I couldnt' help but wonder, which of those things am I?

But as her story goes…

After the New Year, on a lone Thursday afternoon, he visited her. He doesn’t come around much. He is a man of few words. He is rarely visible in the office. His schedule suits him, conforms to no one, and is rarely foretold to anyone. That includes his assistant. He does his own thing. Most of them do. And they wonder why things run amok.

But he sat with her. And he couldn’t look her in the eye - and this troubled her. And he told her she was laid off. She fought her tears and remained strong. He may or may not have offered words of encouragement but she was no longer afraid to speak and said, “Who are you kidding? I’m not coming back.” She told him, in no uncertain terms, that this was more than just a lay off. She was in shock. She also duly noted that her commanding salary was a factor in the decision…especially compared to the salary of the current employee who would take on her duties along with his own. (Good luck!)

What fools.

She has built relationships over the past several years. I hope she lands on her feet. She is a smart and attractive woman and that combination can be deadly and very powerful once one makes up their mind to be so. Both those qualities can be exploited separately but, when you incorporate them, it’s a “no holds barred” situation. The one that replaces her has very little chance of success in the position she claimed and excelled at. This is why management needs to know what you do and how well you do (or don’t) perform.

Today was a blur…and yesterday and today, tears were shed.

I lost the person who helped guide me through my newness and rawness and awkwardness of being the "new person" in the office. She was honest and wise. She was cunning and clever. We clicked. We respected each other and got along for all the right reasons and all the wrong ones too. Our similarities dangerously paralleled and made us respectful equals. We were not a threat to each other and so we could be friends.

And when I listened to my voicemail and she spoke from her heart, I realized how much I would miss my newest friend. I also realized how cold others could be and I wondered where this left me. Perhaps I am not at my final destination in the work world. I feel sad for my newest friend and her situation. I remember going through it. The difference is I had 6 months employment to deal with it and a severance package. She left with a white box of personal belongings and nothing else.

When I lost my job, my real friend wrote to me, “you do realize that others are sad that this happened to you but secretly they are glad it didn’t happen to them.” I felt that today too. I’m just being honest. Honest like my friend was to me. It’s hard to swallow but we all know it’s true.

I will start next week by clearing my office of all personal items. The ones I said I wouldn’t have in there in the first place, especially after having to pack up several boxes after leaving my las gig.

And then it happened.

The final straw…

…was the comment that poured the salt into the open fleshy and bleeding wound. It occurred precisely when he said, “so, do you want me to lobby for you to have her office?”

I was seething on the inside. My outside sustained some semblance of composure.

“No,” I replied. “That’s bad karma.”

_______________________________________________

I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
(The Fray / How to Save A Life)