They said to me: "It will be interesting to see where your life is a year from now…”
A year after I lost my job because I wouldn’t move/conform …
A year after I lost my work-friends…some who lost their jobs for the same reason as me…some who hung on but wondered for how long…
A year after I lost my comfort zone…
A year after I lost my seniority, vacation, freedom…
A year after I lost my “untouchable-ness” and security and semi-golden-girlness…
After several years of just losing it all…
I’m still here.
My one-year work anniversary came and went like any other day. No congratulations, no cake, no pop, no mention, no nothing. The day before, my boss offered some semblance of recognition but only because he would be out of town the next few days and knew I considered that a “gift” in and of itself! Plus I reminded him repeatedly (think monetarily here) but to no avail.
My former boss would have remembered.
Mostly, I just wanted the raise. The rest I knew.
At my former gig, they would have had my review and raise prepared ahead of time. I would have received a commemorative key chain and, much smoke would have been blown up my ass. I wouldn’t realize it until years later, of course.
Supposedly my review and raise will be forthcoming.
Have I mentioned I’m jaded?
Too bad when he came to visit or rather made his “rounds” (as I like to call them) today, I was on the phone…all I got was the handshake…not the never-ending type…no shoulder squeeze…barely a gaze into the eyes because I was on an unimportant phone call.
Working.
Of course he couldn’t be expected to realize… but part of me can’t help but wonder if there would be some minute flash of disappointment across his face for the lack of knowing or not being foretold… that after all the changes, they didn’t do right by "one of us”. Especially the “one of us” he felt compelled to issue a bonus too. (It seems that a bonus in general is done rarely and whole-heartedly, unlike reviews.)
A year after I lost my work-friends…some who lost their jobs for the same reason as me…some who hung on but wondered for how long…
A year after I lost my comfort zone…
A year after I lost my seniority, vacation, freedom…
A year after I lost my “untouchable-ness” and security and semi-golden-girlness…
After several years of just losing it all…
I’m still here.
My one-year work anniversary came and went like any other day. No congratulations, no cake, no pop, no mention, no nothing. The day before, my boss offered some semblance of recognition but only because he would be out of town the next few days and knew I considered that a “gift” in and of itself! Plus I reminded him repeatedly (think monetarily here) but to no avail.
My former boss would have remembered.
Mostly, I just wanted the raise. The rest I knew.
At my former gig, they would have had my review and raise prepared ahead of time. I would have received a commemorative key chain and, much smoke would have been blown up my ass. I wouldn’t realize it until years later, of course.
Supposedly my review and raise will be forthcoming.
Have I mentioned I’m jaded?
Too bad when he came to visit or rather made his “rounds” (as I like to call them) today, I was on the phone…all I got was the handshake…not the never-ending type…no shoulder squeeze…barely a gaze into the eyes because I was on an unimportant phone call.
Working.
Of course he couldn’t be expected to realize… but part of me can’t help but wonder if there would be some minute flash of disappointment across his face for the lack of knowing or not being foretold… that after all the changes, they didn’t do right by "one of us”. Especially the “one of us” he felt compelled to issue a bonus too. (It seems that a bonus in general is done rarely and whole-heartedly, unlike reviews.)
The “one of us” who had to answer all the tough questions with honesty and integrity because she was going to give him a chance and a very ever-elusive piece of trust to eventually break into fragments. Probably.
They don’t know what it’s like outside of “their” realm of reality. Sometimes you need to go outside the bubble and beyond the gate to see the real world that exists.
I think it’s high time I burst the bubble.
They don’t know what it’s like outside of “their” realm of reality. Sometimes you need to go outside the bubble and beyond the gate to see the real world that exists.
I think it’s high time I burst the bubble.
No comments:
Post a Comment