Changing Seasons Changing Lives

(Written By Hennessy)

Autumn.

Fall.

We have come to recognize this season of the year by both names. I prefer autumn. It just sounds prettier and conjures up a nice image in my mind. The colors of the leaves appear to be prettier when I think of autumn. I guess fall is a signal to a change coming, a time when something disappears, and reappears as something else.

Winter.

I am not fond of winter, especially since I live in Cleveland, Ohio. Even though I prefer autumn, things did change for me in my life, and I suppose that is why I don’t like fall. Wake me up, when September ends.

I say that because of my brother, Bill. I lost him in September and, in October, I lost my brother, Mark. Fall; the fall of my brothers. That is why I prefer autumn. Perhaps I fell too after they left me. I wonder if I ever made it back up again. Sometimes I am not so sure now that both of them are not with me anymore. Two people I sometimes think I have let slip from my mind. Two brothers I need yet they don’t answer me when I call to them. The silence is maddening at times; not hearing or seeing them anymore. To have them both gone is just tragically sad for me. I miss them terribly. I wonder a lot what we would have been like as brothers now at this time and age of our respective lives. I can only wonder, as they are not here to let me witness what might have been.

Perhaps this season of change is something that I don’t really understand since I feel so sad that my brothers cannot share in it; this special time of nature. It is rather cruel I feel that we cannot be as family and talk about just how pretty it is now. I do feel rather lost watching the leaves turn to brilliant colors without them. Maybe watching the changes in the leaves is telling me that life changes, and that even though the leaves do disappear, they do return. Could it be that nature is telling me that they are here, and have returned in spirit and are with me now? I will ponder this always and wonder if it is true. When the leaves all come back, are they there? Are they both as full of life as the newly adorned trees are? Can they see me as I see them? I wonder.

When my memory of them rests, I shall never forget what I lost. Wake me up, when September ends. Summer has come to pass, the innocence can never last, wake me up, when September ends. Every memory of walking out the front doorI found the photo of the two that I was looking for. It is hard to say it, but time to say it, good-bye, good-bye my brothers. Let my wishes be those that one day you return to me in spirit, like the returning leaves that left in autumn. May they be bright, full of life, and always wave in the wind, a sign telling me you are there.

I do like autumn, and this change it brings me each crisp day when the leaves are beginning to come down. It helps me relive those days I so wish I could have just one more time. I know there is a time where there will be a return of innocence. Watching as the leaves change, from one shade to the next, makes me aware that you cant keep things constant. Time and change are a given as they never stop for even one minute, one day, one year. Seasons come and go, memories are made in each, yet memories of days from the past are lived during this time as well. Perhaps this is what I long for, a change that brings them back, not just as a memory, but also as my brothers and their spirits. I will continue to watch the leaves change, be swept away by the wind, and think of them and smile. Maybe that breeze is them laughing, speaking to me. I hope so. Till then, I will wake when September ends, and wait for them. Come back Bill and Mark, come back to me. Do you see the tears in my eyes as the sun sets here? Do you see me waiting for you? Let me know when you are here with me. I would love to be your brother once again as my life needs that void filled you left me with. I am not angry, just lonesome for your faces. I miss you. Just wake me when you get here.