Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

(A prediction that, by being voiced, causes itself to come true.)

Well then, I want to be happy and healthy and I want my friends and family to be happy and healthy too…being content will not suffice! I predict it and I belive it and I’ve voiced it.

If only it were that simple.

When he asked me those very pointed questions and I answered as honestly as ever, I told him I went on my interviews and truly didn’t care one way or the other about any one job in particular because I knew I had to land on my feet and that I would…there was no other option. That wasn’t a prediction per se, but a belief and goal and moreover, a FACT!

BUT – to land somewhere decent, was a bonus and a surprise. OK. It was a flippin’ SHOCK. But how long would it last?

The day we found out we were being terminated (because we “chose not too”/refused to relocate), I knew I would land another job – depending on one’s willingness to “give a little” we can all land other jobs…but what kind of job and how willing of a decrease in pay and status one was willing to take was another subject all together. But to land a job where you actually like what you are doing (most of the time), well…If I look at it clearly, I really didn’t give up much. Clarity isn’t by strongest suit though.

I like my job. It’s a little miracle. Especialy when the benefits kind of suck (compared to what you were used too) yet thankfully your boss is willing to “work” with you if you know your stuff. Thank goodness I know my stuff. I almost ended up at a bank. That seems pretty comical now considering all things.

So, as I was saying, I knew I would land a job but to land a damn good one was…? Was it a self fulfillijg prophecy because I believed in it and said it out loud? Did it have anything to do with karma or fate? LUCK? Is it a credit to me at all? Is it surprising that my two predecessors didn’t last more than a year? Was the job THAT difficult or was there something I was missing?

My friend landed his new job well before me. There was so much pride and happiness. No one deserved it more. Big smiles all around. But one year later, my friend goes to work every day taking a huge paycut and hating the job…my friend begins the dreaded job search all over again. This scares the hell out of me. Mostly, I just feel dank inside that his happines was short-loved and fleeting. Selfishly, I can’t help but wonder if I too will become part of this statistic? Will I want to leave a year or so later for greener and brighter pastures? Do they even exist? I can see the flaws in the current system I call “my job” and “my workplace”… and there are ways to prevent and repair them. However, saying you’ll support me and actually being supportive are two very different animals. Beasts. Demons. The “trust” is not there. So much of me is still jaded. We’re still so mistrusting. Sometimes we feel like we’re on the Island of Misfit Toys.

It makes me wonder how and why I landed here though. Fate? Luck? Karma? Self-Fulfilling Prophecy? Honestly I don’t have a clue.

It makes me wonder how my friend landed THERE. Miserable. Was it fate? Karma?
Honestly? No way. No clue. We must have to pass these tests and trials and tribulations…and ultimately choose our courses more or less wisely based on stricter or losser criteria. Clear as MUD! Sometimes you do things for yourself and sometimes you do them for others. You do the best you can with the cards you are dealt. Sometimes decisions are clouded and sometimes there is just a thick fog you can’t cut through. Clarity comes too late too often.

He doesn’t say much but he slowly turns his gaze into this evil, intimidating squint and stare-down. I return the favor before I gradually look away, trying not to vrack a smile, and focus on the event at hand. Like his father before him, he toys with people to demand respect and to obtain information. It’s all bullshit. But you play the game to keep your employment, to stay in good graces and to let them think they are manipulating you when they are simply playing into your hand without the slightest notion. And eventually, when the timing is just right, you go for the jugular…to get what you want…because no matter where we end up, like it or not, we have to conform at least slightly and play the game.

If only it were that simple.

I predict another very interesting year for us.